Everyone (I'd imagine, by now) is leery of those voting machines...

My voting sticker actually said "My Vote Counted!"

Alas, I got a little teary-eyed, as I stuck that voting sticker to my heart and cried out, "Cool beans, voting sticker, your reassurance has finally gotten me over the pesky, nagging, concern of disillusionment and voter fraud...voting sticker -- you complete me!" Or something like that. I don't quite remember -- I was so in the moment...

So, YAY, The Onion stepped up, and spat out some scathing satire ...

Diebold Accidentally Leaks Results Of 2008 Election Early

You know you’re the archetype of… er…cool when…

You play Random Article Wikipedia Smackdown!

Here’s the shizz:

The host sits in front of a computer and clicks on Wikipedia’s “Random Article” link in its sidebar.

They state only the title of the article that comes up.

The other players try to state something factual that appears in the article.

The person with the closest factual reference (judged by host) scores a point, and you rotate who gets to go first. You can even rotate out the computer’s host.

Omiholysnap you guys -- they weren’t kidding when they labeled that button “random" :-D

Owning it...

I was in the middle of doing fifteen things at work today, and my mind was contemplating about five hundred more as I was rushing around kind of mumbling to myself.

A co-worker cruised by, and was all, "Hey, what's going on?"

So I went, "Oh, just hanging around being weird."

We laughed, but I was thinking, "I think I kind of do hang around being weird rather often."

Here is Merriam Webster's definition of "weird".
1 : of, relating to, or caused by witchcraft or the supernatural : magical

2 : of strange or extraordinary character : odd, fantastic

Now -- the behavioral analysis part!

Witchcraft -- Wicca is cool, but not really my passion -- moving on --

Supernatural -- since science cannot completely explain all things natural, including me or you, I think humans can be termed supernatural in an abstract context.

Magical -- I just like that one.

Strange -- well, who isn't? Some of us more than others; but plain and boring never won anybody a Nobel prize or anything.

Extraordinary -- yes, please.

Odd, fantastic -- I'm putting these in "Strange's" file. Normalcy has its appropriate moments -- but being fantastic -- those are the moments everyone remembers.

So let that cosmic stream flow :-D

(While you're at it, check out the new Switches vid I posted!)

I know I am treading on sacred ground here...people love The Oprah.

But sometimes talk shows really do sensationalize some random crap, ya know?

I couldn't resist gleefully sharing this Photoshopped Oprah promo.

And my two cents is that the toads are with us -- they do scarf down mosquitoes and all...

MyFace! I trademark this in 3…2…1… NOW.

What if two colossal, omnipotent, social networking website universes collided?

It’s only a theory, but if MySpace and Facebook ever became one massive megalomanic entity – LET US BAPTIZE THEE... MyFace.

It could be obscenely egocentric…b/c personal web pages aren't now…right? :-P You could have MyFace gifting, MyFace player (featuring karaoke, naturally), Poke MyFace, Super Poke MyFace, Slap and Tickle MyFace , Twitter MyFace (for-up-to-the-minute updates on MyFace) ...I think I could go on with this forever.

I have a MySpace I use a lot because the flexible layout allows for creative page designing; and a Facebook page that I use... not so much. The Facebook layout infuriates me with its rigidity. (I don’t do well with rigid structure. *seethe*) Most people I know have pages on both sites…and prefer one over the other. This would make quite an interesting psychological study. Indeed...something for the MyPsychoFace Therapy Forum...

Oh, Scott Adams...WTH...funny theory ... Death by Frozen Poop

I've been having a crazyass-busy work week--tension so thick, you can cut it with a spork ;-)

So yesterday, when my friend goes, "I feel like I am in downtown crazy, and the busses have stopped running." -- I totally knew what she was talking about.

I am coming down from all the crazy today, but still feeling rather cheeky; so I am going to mess with some old-school adages.

I dedicate these words of weird to all who had a crazyass week --

"Wow...look who woke up on the wrong side of crazy this morning."

"People in glass houses shouldn't throw crazy."

"If a crazy falls in the forest, and no one is around, does it still make a sound?" :-O

The disco-iest desk that ever disco-ed... OR... I think I have inadvertently stumbled upon an allegory for life...

Okay -- in my room at work we recently had a desk die a tragic slo-mo collapse -- no one was hurt (except the desk). Another desk is so warped that it wobbles big time. I've put in requests for replacement desks to no avail. There are no spare desks around the building, either. So I am already short a desk, and no one wants to sit in the wobbly desk because it's so freakin' annoying.

THEN I named the wobbly desk the "Disco Desk" and anyone who sits in can raise their hands in the air, make techno sounds, and wobble around. Now EVERYONE wants to sit in the Disco Desk, yet it hasn't become too much of a distraction b/c after a good 15 seconds of disco-ing, most of the perpetrators are played out.

I tried it myself and it was quite spectacular.

Faux bacon gear...where are we going with this and why are we in a handbasket? :-P

Bacon wallets!!!



Bacon band-aids!!!

Magnificent snap of a lightening storm taken by Olivier Vandeginste -- I doff my cap to you, sir ...

I am a sunny day frolicker. I love the scent of a warm breeze and sometimes the warmth of the sun on my skin gives me goosebumps because it feels so nice.

But sometimes nothing can touch a spectacular storm. I love the way rain sounds in the trees; and the way it intensifies the smell of the earth and plants and everything shimmers with the sheen of being alive, grabbing at wind.

Ben and Jerry's ice cream flavors that need to happen...

YES... some flavors and ingredients which would be more than vaguely captivating and satisfying:

Celebrity Egomania -- a creamy, marshmallow-based delight with decadent fudge ripple, publicist spin, and six varieties of nuts.

Voter's Regret -- dark-chocolate angst, with neapolitan indecisiveness, chock full o' delicately fried cinnamon-sprinkled brain chunks. And tears.

Ambiguous Slacker -- fluffy, creamy enchantment, cotton candy pathos, and enigmatic nougat -- was that a pistachio? A toenail? One may never know...

Let's play... Trend Must Die!


People who wear sweatpants with stuff written across the a**, such as "Sweetie" or "Juicy"... unless you change it to "Stinky" or "Soggy" -- Trend Must Die!

People who wear studded belts around their upper legs ... unless you transport exclusively by pogo stick -- Trend Must Die!

Guy-liner ... not all sad poetry is bad poetry, but if you are enhancing yours by slathering guy-liner all around your one visible eye, yours may come off as an eensy-beensy-teensy bit contrived -- Trend Must Die!

Random Thought of the Day: Bipedalism is over-rated…

Okay, maybe not completely -- being able to walk while eating a bowl of cereal is dandy. However...what if humans had never evolved into bipeds? Four on the floor could have benefits, you know.

Mad pouncing/lunging skills -- better balance and agility and more force behind the leap could make pouncing/lunging all the rage. Pretty sweet if ya think about it.

Sharper turning maneuverability -- at higher speeds! It would be like 4-wheel drive plus a lower center of gravity compared to what we’re sporting now. Fun!

Hand shoes –- No longer will feet have all the fun. Vicious, chunky-soled, E-Z release shoes for your hands. Smooth glove-like fit, and durable treads -– what’s not to love? ;-D

"Protein with an attitude"

Scott Adams penned a pretty morbidly interesting blog about the FDA's saying that cloned meat is safe. He ponders if eating his own clone is acceptable and determines that it is -- since there is no way that clones have souls.

All I know is that cloned animals age at an accelerated rate, and eating meat that comes from an animal that is chemically imbalanced in that way can never be a magnificent idea.

Live the madness here.

'Memba 90's alternative "hair bands"?

Vid update -- Collective Soul "December" Serious tune -- and lots of flowing locks :-)

Vid updated with a blatantly kickass live performance of The Dandy Warhols "Bohemian Like You"!

Expressions that make everyone die a little on the inside...

There are expressions that I use that make NO sense whatsoever, and even as the words are coming out of my mouth...my brain is going , "$%#@*, what a stupid expression that makes no sense....shut up alr -- oh never mind, it's officially out there now."

Exhibit A -- When I want to make a point and I say, " I'm sorry but..." I am never, ever, sorry -- I use this phrase for emphasis -- and that makes no sense! For example, " I'm sorry but there is no way I can vote for a candidate that looks like Guy Smiley from Sesame Street." I am totally not sorry about that -- I am proud of that. Damn!

Exhibit B -- Someone bumps into me, and I'm like, "Oh, excuse me." Why did I just say that? Even if they do an "Excuse me." back, I still feel self-corrupted. And that's un-comfy.

Exhibit C -- The omniscient, omnipotent "THEY" as in -- "They need to really do something about voter fraud." or "They invented the toilet seat warmer years ago." I don't mind admitting I have no idea who "they" are when I spew such nonsense, but "they" seem awfully eclectic.

So next time I am out and about and someone bumps into me and I go, "Excuse me, wow, I'm sorry but they really need to alleviate congestion in this area." perhaps a flogging is in order.

Vid Updated...

Why Focus is Everything AKA Halcyon's "Crap or The Cone"

In case you wonder -- he says the part of crap was played by Jello chocolate pudding :-P

Pop culture things that should go away in 2008, but indubidently won't...

***Just my list -- feel free to hate on it or add to it

:-P

Reality "stars" -- they are obsessed over, but famous for doing nothing. The ones that learned to dance can perhaps be spared, but implored to dance off camera; and the "stars" who are famous for eating various meats made of naughty bits need to die. Immediately. No offense.

Chick flicks -- I think the genre has peaked. Give me a scenario that hasn't been done, and I bet it's not a chick flick.

Anything Emo -- crying, poetry of misery, and all black all the time -- are all over-rated and have been played out. Time to find a new way display your individuality so as to be recognized as part of the rebellious group you are part of. Yeah.

Flat-ironing hair -- viva la curl/wave! Just don't bring back perms...no one wants to handle that mess.

Something that should definitely STAY is the most excellent band -- The Films :-D I updated my vid. with their fabulousness known as "Black Shoes"...

Congratulations on winning the Iowa caucus, Barack!

Arianna Huffington blogged an intensely moving piece about the possibility of a "forward-looking country" here.