Expressions that make everyone die a little on the inside...
There are expressions that I use that make NO sense whatsoever, and even as the words are coming out of my mouth...my brain is going , "$%#@*, what a stupid expression that makes no sense....shut up alr -- oh never mind, it's officially out there now."
Exhibit A -- When I want to make a point and I say, " I'm sorry but..." I am never, ever, sorry -- I use this phrase for emphasis -- and that makes no sense! For example, " I'm sorry but there is no way I can vote for a candidate that looks like Guy Smiley from Sesame Street." I am totally not sorry about that -- I am proud of that. Damn!
Exhibit B -- Someone bumps into me, and I'm like, "Oh, excuse me." Why did I just say that? Even if they do an "Excuse me." back, I still feel self-corrupted. And that's un-comfy.
Exhibit C -- The omniscient, omnipotent "THEY" as in -- "They need to really do something about voter fraud." or "They invented the toilet seat warmer years ago." I don't mind admitting I have no idea who "they" are when I spew such nonsense, but "they" seem awfully eclectic.
So next time I am out and about and someone bumps into me and I go, "Excuse me, wow, I'm sorry but they really need to alleviate congestion in this area." perhaps a flogging is in order.
5 comments:
OMG.... "THEY".
My students always mention "they" when someone is disgusted with a particular aspect of the Spanish language:
Why do THEY call it that? Why don't THEY use a different word? Why can't THEY use this word instead?
And I always give them a blank stare and ask, "They?" The Spanish? The Mexicans? God? Merlin? Trying to explain the evolution of a language is lost on them... they want someone to blame!
As for other tired expressions... I actually have had a list of these in my journal for quite some time:
1. He/She "does it on their own terms."
2. "feelgood movie of the____" (insert season)
3. "Excuse my French". UGH. If you're going to use profanity, well, OWN IT. And quit blaming the French. If you apologize for it, you rob profanity of its momentum, its oomph, its potency.
4. "We're pulling for you." Pulling WHAT?
4a. Sidenote to #4... when people are really excited about something, they make this weird gesture that looks like they are pulling a lever out of the sky. You know what I'm talking about? They make a fist and jab their arm in a backward motion, often hiking up one of their legs at the same time while screaming, "YES!" What is this? What does it mean?
My favorite: When someone says "With all due respect.." they are about to dis you bigtime.
FACT: When someone ends with "bless her/his heart" it really means "what a dumbass"
OMG guys, those are all fantastic!!! :-D
God you crack me up!!
Now that I am married to a "foreigner"...people find out and refer to Mads as a part of "they"...the foreigners...the people they dont understand...it is ridiculous how ignorant people are! But you always have a way of cracking me up!
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