Holmes has given me one of these Sizzlin' Bacon Scent Funky Fresh Air Fresheners.

It's just one of those of Baconian(TM) moments...

:-D

Do brain cells scream before they die?

It is annoying when people are famous for nothing; and unconditionally infuriating when a mag you think still has cred like Rolling Stone puts The Hills people on its cover (see this month's issue).

It should come with a warning, "Ocular lesions from acute incredulity may result from looking directly at this cover since the combined brain power of these reality "stars" appear to show less intelligence than a box of hair."

Arrgh!!! *Sigh*

And now -- people need only to be able to fit through a hole in the wall for their 15 minutes of fame. Not kidding --

Airzooka Air Gun!

The Airzooka is precisely what you think -- a hand-held gust blaster reaching up to ten feet.

Besides for your stealth missions of blasting loved ones with some serious tempest -- think about pool party possibilities! Aim this beast at the pool surface and the ripple effect of the ensuing colossal spray will have everyone sufficiently splattered and ready to flog you with your own weapon. ;-)

Domino's Double Decker Pizza
(objects in picture are 50% more gastro intestinal than they appear)

I imagine the inspiration for this began with a phone call --

Domino's Employee: Hello, thanks for calling Domino's.
Random One: Hi, I'd like pizza.
D.E: Yeah, we get that sometimes. Would you like any toppings?
R.O: Uh, sure. You know, pizza toppings.
D.E.: *snicker* A pizza topped with pizza?
R.O.: Oh my sweet heavens, yes.

Hence, the blueprinting began. I think there are only two ways to perceive the double decker pizza -- gastronomic genius or bilious gastrosity. You decide...

The Dandy Warhols vs. The Beastie Boys -- A Mash Up of "We Used To Be Friends" and "Intergalactic Planetary" !

I love the Dandys and I love The Beasties, but a mash up? Would it sound like an egregious cacophony tossing its proverbial cookies?

Happily -- no! It is unbridled and absolute awesomeness. I love when the unexpected works out like that :-) Check it...

It's the end of the Internet social networking world as we know it...and I feel fine...

Hello, social network data portability. According to CNET, Google is going to bring it on with Friend Connect, which will allow users "to port their friends, profile photos, events, and other data across the Web to partner sites".

Naysayers claim that the concept has a long way to go until full functionality, and could still end up doomed to an epic fail. Yes, the utility has the potential to make the Internet more connected, but (*cue irony throwing up on itself*) it's possible it could also make it more confusing.

It almost sounds too utopian to be true, but reps from Google, MySpace and Facebook are said to be working together in one Data Portability Workgroup, tho nothing has been formally announced... (*tentative woot* )

Bacon organizers...

At this point, I've had friends email me so much bacon paraphernalia that I figured, "What could be more helpful than bacon bowls and cups to store ones delectables?"

The photographers filled the pictured examples with a curious choice -- vegetable salad. Hey, how about going clinical strength with this and filling those bad boys with a smokedbacon-maplesyrupflavoredbacon-wideslicedbacon salad adorned with a tangy Canadian bacon grease vinaigrette -- glorious in its baconian magnificence!

Here's the link if ya wanna make them.

Johnson's Baby Cologne... WHAT???

TAG for babies? Um, no, please.

Just wondering...was this product designed for people too lazy and/or crazypants to wash their offspring? Does this reek of infant oppression because consumerism has made things convenient for parents who skip the step of washing a little one? Ew.

Mom and Dad, thank you ever so much for keeping us tidy enough that we never needed the baby cologne.

Pickle Sickles Pickle Juice Popsicles...

The thought of consuming frozen pickle juice as a lighthearted snack takes me to a cold, dark abyss where laughter doesn't exist, and the silence is so loud, it screams. However, I'll let you decide if you have the prowess to devour the icy assault of Pickle Sickles:

1.) Would you drink brine?
2.) Would you consume something normally thrown away?
3.) Did you notice that it has the word "Sick" built into its name?

P.S. By the way -- no offense to pickles. I still love them. However, I think they would be embarrassed if they knew about this post-modern exploitation ;-)