"Aw, peas." Thomkins, Homestarrunner.com

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Today I was being all happy as I went about my business of opening a bag of peas.

The bag did that trajectory explosive thing that is always a risk factor when you pull on thin plastic with a seam. I inadvertently yet impressively and forcefully spewed the peas across the kitchen.

Now I'm mad amazing strong and all (um, no), but I wasn't expecting this. My dog came in and wagged his tail and I went to get the broom. A cute trait of mine is that I'm really neat...yeah, no eye-rolling over there. So I swept all the petite (yes, the bag says that) peas in their .05 cm glory.

But I can't help wondering how many are left unswept. Those dodgy suckers can roll under refrigerators and ovens and all. Why couldn't this happen with broccoli florets? They aren't crafty enough to roll for diddly.