Weezer made a vid that's a satire...or an homage... to satires and homages...

Making a song and video tribute to Internet pop culture = several thousand dollars.

Getting all meta about it and using the medium of the Internet as a tribute to Internet pop culture -- PRICELESS!

Holmes has given me one of these Sizzlin' Bacon Scent Funky Fresh Air Fresheners.

It's just one of those of Baconian(TM) moments...

:-D

Do brain cells scream before they die?

It is annoying when people are famous for nothing; and unconditionally infuriating when a mag you think still has cred like Rolling Stone puts The Hills people on its cover (see this month's issue).

It should come with a warning, "Ocular lesions from acute incredulity may result from looking directly at this cover since the combined brain power of these reality "stars" appear to show less intelligence than a box of hair."

Arrgh!!! *Sigh*

And now -- people need only to be able to fit through a hole in the wall for their 15 minutes of fame. Not kidding --

Airzooka Air Gun!

The Airzooka is precisely what you think -- a hand-held gust blaster reaching up to ten feet.

Besides for your stealth missions of blasting loved ones with some serious tempest -- think about pool party possibilities! Aim this beast at the pool surface and the ripple effect of the ensuing colossal spray will have everyone sufficiently splattered and ready to flog you with your own weapon. ;-)

Domino's Double Decker Pizza
(objects in picture are 50% more gastro intestinal than they appear)

I imagine the inspiration for this began with a phone call --

Domino's Employee: Hello, thanks for calling Domino's.
Random One: Hi, I'd like pizza.
D.E: Yeah, we get that sometimes. Would you like any toppings?
R.O: Uh, sure. You know, pizza toppings.
D.E.: *snicker* A pizza topped with pizza?
R.O.: Oh my sweet heavens, yes.

Hence, the blueprinting began. I think there are only two ways to perceive the double decker pizza -- gastronomic genius or bilious gastrosity. You decide...

The Dandy Warhols vs. The Beastie Boys -- A Mash Up of "We Used To Be Friends" and "Intergalactic Planetary" !

I love the Dandys and I love The Beasties, but a mash up? Would it sound like an egregious cacophony tossing its proverbial cookies?

Happily -- no! It is unbridled and absolute awesomeness. I love when the unexpected works out like that :-) Check it...

It's the end of the Internet social networking world as we know it...and I feel fine...

Hello, social network data portability. According to CNET, Google is going to bring it on with Friend Connect, which will allow users "to port their friends, profile photos, events, and other data across the Web to partner sites".

Naysayers claim that the concept has a long way to go until full functionality, and could still end up doomed to an epic fail. Yes, the utility has the potential to make the Internet more connected, but (*cue irony throwing up on itself*) it's possible it could also make it more confusing.

It almost sounds too utopian to be true, but reps from Google, MySpace and Facebook are said to be working together in one Data Portability Workgroup, tho nothing has been formally announced... (*tentative woot* )

Bacon organizers...

At this point, I've had friends email me so much bacon paraphernalia that I figured, "What could be more helpful than bacon bowls and cups to store ones delectables?"

The photographers filled the pictured examples with a curious choice -- vegetable salad. Hey, how about going clinical strength with this and filling those bad boys with a smokedbacon-maplesyrupflavoredbacon-wideslicedbacon salad adorned with a tangy Canadian bacon grease vinaigrette -- glorious in its baconian magnificence!

Here's the link if ya wanna make them.

Johnson's Baby Cologne... WHAT???

TAG for babies? Um, no, please.

Just wondering...was this product designed for people too lazy and/or crazypants to wash their offspring? Does this reek of infant oppression because consumerism has made things convenient for parents who skip the step of washing a little one? Ew.

Mom and Dad, thank you ever so much for keeping us tidy enough that we never needed the baby cologne.

Pickle Sickles Pickle Juice Popsicles...

The thought of consuming frozen pickle juice as a lighthearted snack takes me to a cold, dark abyss where laughter doesn't exist, and the silence is so loud, it screams. However, I'll let you decide if you have the prowess to devour the icy assault of Pickle Sickles:

1.) Would you drink brine?
2.) Would you consume something normally thrown away?
3.) Did you notice that it has the word "Sick" built into its name?

P.S. By the way -- no offense to pickles. I still love them. However, I think they would be embarrassed if they knew about this post-modern exploitation ;-)

How defined are we on the cellular level?

It turns out that your mind is only partially conscious about some of the things your brain does. According to this Wired Magazine article, brain scanners can see your decisions before you consciously make them -- in accordance with patterns of brain activity.

However, scientists conceed that we are not completely moist robots. The scanner isn't correct 100% of the time, and the study is about predicting buttons to be pressed, not complex decision-making.

The idea of the inevitable mind control studies which will surely follow leave me with a rather unsavory taste in my mouth -- kind of in a casserole-of-evil-with-a-potato-chip-crust-of-despair flavor...

Introducing -- the sQuba --

REAL! The Swiss have invented an amphibious convertible, and it can dive up to 30 feet!

This is the James Bond-iest thing to come out in ... FOREVER!!!

The one thing that makes me "meh" about land-bound convertibles is that my hair is wavy/curly and tends to tangle massively when whipped into a frenzy by wind.

That literal snafu is now history! However, the amphibious convertible is not exactly an easy ride --

CNN says, "You’ll have to break out the wetsuit. The car has an open top, meaning that the two passengers are exposed to the elements. Passengers will be able to keep breathing underwater through an integrated tank of compressed air similar to what is used in scuba diving. The sQuba’s top speed on land is about 77 mph, but it slows down to 3 mph on the surface of the water, and 1.8 mph underwater."

Still -- I would so roll that phat ride!

The Burger King dude-bot makes me feel unsafe because:

(a) Corporate overlording plus a dead-behind-the-eyes gaze never means anything good.
(b) The mannequins have become sentient and want to feed us.
(c) Gah! God Save The Queen!
(d) Other __________________________________

Rock, Paper, Scissors? Bah. Try Earth, Bunnies, Cheney...

Earth Day is tomorrow -- Tuesday, April 22. Always a good idea to recycle and live green as much as possible on this day and every day! However, if you do something extra nice for our planet this Tuesday, I will send you three fluffy, little bunnies for free.*

*bunnies not included.

:-D Don't forget to click below to get your dose of scathing satire from The Onion...

Cheney Celebrates Earth Day By Breathing Oxygen

*+Interested in a place to express your creativity and speak your mind?*+

My friend is building a website, fakeplacestudios.com, which features online comics, art, and a free-thinking forum. It's currently under construction, but the forum is up and registration is as easy as it gets. I hope to see you there!

And now, I would like to provide evidence substantiating my new theorem attesting that "Everything's better with googly eyes." ;-D

Even chin people doing The Lord of the Rings. Sincerely.

Gusto

Randy Pausch's "Last Lecture" reminded me about how important one's internal dialog is -- and how it it affects every cell in the body. On some level, how you think affects your ability to thrive. Because of the thoughts he has shared, I am inspired to think about what it is I want out of my time on this planet.

I want to live a wonderfully happy, extremely healthy, very long life. I want to thoroughly enjoy this amazing and wonderful gift of life and do as much as I can do for as long as possible. I want to bring positivity to others. I want to continuously learn, create, laugh, be blissed-out, contribute and celebrate life with my family and friends. I want to always be open-minded and non-prejudiced.

Finally -- I never want to become set in my ways -- I hope for the eternal feeling that I am one with an ever-expanding universe.

I am still contemplating if Ice Cucumber Pepsi is a good, bad, or indifferent sort of peculiarity.

It's an odd concept for sure, but not necessarily a gross one. Cucumber flavor isn't gross at all, it just sort of brings about ambivalence. Watery indistinguishableness. Slightly saline mediocrity.

Alas, what exactly is in this bottle of effervescent ennui? Cucumbers? Soylent green?

This Ice Cucumber Pepsi is only available (for now) in Japan; and for all I know -- cold, salty, bubble water is delightfully refreshing in an "I like to drink ocean" sort of way.

So what are these creatures, "superious delegatus" a.k.a. superdelegates?

They are not chosen based on the party primaries and caucuses. Most are selected because of their status as party leaders and elected officials. Others are chosen during the primary season for enigmatic reasons not disclosed to the unwashed masses. All the superdelegates are free to support any candidate for the nomination. With no prompting from shadowy puppet masters. Really.

Don't even pretend that you don't want to know the anatomy of a superdelegate. (Thx LA Times.) Click here for the larger version.

Totally real ad --

Soaking victory is best served cold! The AQUASHOCK ARCTIC BLAST blaster gives you more than one way to shock and surprise your opponents: soak ‘em in a stream or add ice to blast ‘em with an all-out burst of freezing cold water! Don't just soak 'em – Aqua Shock em'!

---

This product intrigues me. It seems that its only purpose is making your friends hate you.

What wrongest wrong of all wrongs would a friend have to commit in order to deserve being gunned down with a spew of icy cold hate-water? Are there people out there purchasing the AquaShock as a solution for getting people to ostracize them this summer? Hmm... a compelling psychological study of of water torture in the guise of a bright, shiny, summer's day toy...