Summer is nearly upon us, and thoughts now turn to...

What the hell is Fla-Vor-Ice? Personally, I find it worthy of note that they can't even call it "Fruit Flavored Ice" (you know they had to have tried). Furthermore, they probably aren't even allowed to spell "Flavor" as one word on the label because that's being too optimistic.

You know what Fla-Vor-Ice is? Transportable. That's all I got for this one.

Today's featured awesomeness is kickass poli/news satirist-- Lee Camp! He creates blogs, comics, and stand-up comedy. And he... well, I'll let you see for yourself...

Peeps - snack AND a tour de force of delicious, delightful, sugar art delirium...

Okay -- straight from the hip -- I like marshmallow Peeps a little bit. They are such junk food, but some combination of the weird sugar-crystal-marshmallow-chewy-gooey texture and flavor almost DARES you to like them because they are so non-nutritive. And food coloring is gross, but somehow acceptable for Easter. So as you can see, I haven't resolved why I like them -- maybe it's the exquisitely disgusting "How-Many-Peeps Can-You-Fit-In-Your-Mouth Game"? Good times...

Well, in a tribute to all things Peeps, there are now diorama art contests featuring the sugary creatures: Peeps Show II

<-- Warning: this image may haunt you as a fever nightmare...

I wish turning a profit weren't such a factor in the arts. When someone is the the driving force behind a movie/song/book that makes some money -- they have opportunities to be everywhere. And many artists take advantage of the opportunity -- ah, tortuous ubiquity!

When artists take on projects doing anything to be seen/heard/read, it becomes obvious that they are indiscriminate; and then their projects make you want to hurl said artist directly into the sun because it is inevitable that their choices will become insufferably BAD.

Currently, is it possible to become a famous without selling out at the expense of one's integrity (i.e. -- JD Salinger, Harper Lee)?

Gloucester Cheese Rolling!



From a perpetrator's YouTube blurb:

"Every year daring competitors throw themselves down an almost vertical hill in Gloucester, UK, chasing an 8lb Double Gloucester Cheese. It can never really be caught as it reaches breakneck speeds but the first person to cross the line at the bottom of the hill wins the cheese. Thousands of spectators turn out for the event each year and, unsurprisingly, there are usually a good few injuries. Thankfully St John's Ambulances are on hand to whisk the casualties away to the local hospital."

Should these roguish nutters get their cheese permits revoked? And by revoked, I mean re-affirmed :-) Bonkers -- yet awesome! :-D

Happy Spring Break! And by the way...



100% marshmallow Lucky Charms without those frosted cardboard-y oat nuggets is:

a. Genius -- I love you, sugar coma...

b. Terrifying -- those things aren't marshmallows, man.

c. Leprechaun demon feed

d. Other -- _______________________

You know when a bunch of people in one location all do the same unusual thing, and someone says, "It must be in the water"?

Well, it's in the frickin' water (article).

So people are drinking, cooking, rinsing fruit, etc. with water containing trace amounts of various medications -- what effects do the cumulative trace amounts of mixtures of drugs have? That’s really disconcerting to think about.

Then again -- how constructive is this information when, as of now, people can’t do anything about it? Is this meant to be alarmist? Are the toxins people are exposed to in the everyday environment more of a concern?

I don't like sensationalism. In regard to drinking water -- first, it was about the purity of drinking bottled water over tap, then it was that tap regulations are more strict than bottlers', now it's about drinking cocktails of drugs regardless of where one's water is from.

Are we being well-informed or manipulated?

Hey rockers, check the They Might Be Giants live vid in the sidebar!

And the vid below -- an AIR VORTEX CANNON!
This is the coolest cool thing that ever cooled!

I saw this item in a supermarket -- it appears to contain part peanut butter, part jelly, all in a neatly folded doughy confection of childhood sadness.

Not to get too existential about it -- but how can this discus of a sandwich claim to be "uncrustable"? Wouldn't the edge of that rim-ridgy thing of crushed "bread" count as a crust?

Being that I don't feel that it is ethical to speak of the processed "foodstuffs" used in creating this pocket of dubious edibility without liberal use of quotation marks -- I doubt I'll be scarfing one of these down anytime soon...

RANDOM ART ALERT:
*+*+ ======O *+*+*
Snowflakes and Airborne Snowball

YES! I am going to see They Might Be Giants tomorrow! I am so psyched...awesomeness and splendiosity shall ensue...they are amazing!

Taking soggy, squishy, and gray to the next level...

Cheese-freakin'-Burger In A Can, people -- it exists!

I'd imagine looking at it directly will make you stab yourself in the eye -- I highly recommend avoiding cutlery around this product.

Everything a Cheeseburger In A Can touches turns to stupid, undoubtedly. You are supposed to boil this atrocity in its can. Uhm, why would you not just fry or grill the burger? I am trying to figure out who desperately needs to boil canned meat. Campers? They tend to be fire builder types, tho -- and open flame is better for cooking meat than boiling it in a can -- amiright?

The bold and daring pioneers of culinary homicide at The AV Club taste tested this beast -- you can gross-out vicariously here.

Everyone (I'd imagine, by now) is leery of those voting machines...

My voting sticker actually said "My Vote Counted!"

Alas, I got a little teary-eyed, as I stuck that voting sticker to my heart and cried out, "Cool beans, voting sticker, your reassurance has finally gotten me over the pesky, nagging, concern of disillusionment and voter fraud...voting sticker -- you complete me!" Or something like that. I don't quite remember -- I was so in the moment...

So, YAY, The Onion stepped up, and spat out some scathing satire ...

Diebold Accidentally Leaks Results Of 2008 Election Early

You know you’re the archetype of… er…cool when…

You play Random Article Wikipedia Smackdown!

Here’s the shizz:

The host sits in front of a computer and clicks on Wikipedia’s “Random Article” link in its sidebar.

They state only the title of the article that comes up.

The other players try to state something factual that appears in the article.

The person with the closest factual reference (judged by host) scores a point, and you rotate who gets to go first. You can even rotate out the computer’s host.

Omiholysnap you guys -- they weren’t kidding when they labeled that button “random" :-D

Owning it...

I was in the middle of doing fifteen things at work today, and my mind was contemplating about five hundred more as I was rushing around kind of mumbling to myself.

A co-worker cruised by, and was all, "Hey, what's going on?"

So I went, "Oh, just hanging around being weird."

We laughed, but I was thinking, "I think I kind of do hang around being weird rather often."

Here is Merriam Webster's definition of "weird".
1 : of, relating to, or caused by witchcraft or the supernatural : magical

2 : of strange or extraordinary character : odd, fantastic

Now -- the behavioral analysis part!

Witchcraft -- Wicca is cool, but not really my passion -- moving on --

Supernatural -- since science cannot completely explain all things natural, including me or you, I think humans can be termed supernatural in an abstract context.

Magical -- I just like that one.

Strange -- well, who isn't? Some of us more than others; but plain and boring never won anybody a Nobel prize or anything.

Extraordinary -- yes, please.

Odd, fantastic -- I'm putting these in "Strange's" file. Normalcy has its appropriate moments -- but being fantastic -- those are the moments everyone remembers.

So let that cosmic stream flow :-D

(While you're at it, check out the new Switches vid I posted!)

I know I am treading on sacred ground here...people love The Oprah.

But sometimes talk shows really do sensationalize some random crap, ya know?

I couldn't resist gleefully sharing this Photoshopped Oprah promo.

And my two cents is that the toads are with us -- they do scarf down mosquitoes and all...

MyFace! I trademark this in 3…2…1… NOW.

What if two colossal, omnipotent, social networking website universes collided?

It’s only a theory, but if MySpace and Facebook ever became one massive megalomanic entity – LET US BAPTIZE THEE... MyFace.

It could be obscenely egocentric…b/c personal web pages aren't now…right? :-P You could have MyFace gifting, MyFace player (featuring karaoke, naturally), Poke MyFace, Super Poke MyFace, Slap and Tickle MyFace , Twitter MyFace (for-up-to-the-minute updates on MyFace) ...I think I could go on with this forever.

I have a MySpace I use a lot because the flexible layout allows for creative page designing; and a Facebook page that I use... not so much. The Facebook layout infuriates me with its rigidity. (I don’t do well with rigid structure. *seethe*) Most people I know have pages on both sites…and prefer one over the other. This would make quite an interesting psychological study. Indeed...something for the MyPsychoFace Therapy Forum...

Oh, Scott Adams...WTH...funny theory ... Death by Frozen Poop

I've been having a crazyass-busy work week--tension so thick, you can cut it with a spork ;-)

So yesterday, when my friend goes, "I feel like I am in downtown crazy, and the busses have stopped running." -- I totally knew what she was talking about.

I am coming down from all the crazy today, but still feeling rather cheeky; so I am going to mess with some old-school adages.

I dedicate these words of weird to all who had a crazyass week --

"Wow...look who woke up on the wrong side of crazy this morning."

"People in glass houses shouldn't throw crazy."

"If a crazy falls in the forest, and no one is around, does it still make a sound?" :-O

The disco-iest desk that ever disco-ed... OR... I think I have inadvertently stumbled upon an allegory for life...

Okay -- in my room at work we recently had a desk die a tragic slo-mo collapse -- no one was hurt (except the desk). Another desk is so warped that it wobbles big time. I've put in requests for replacement desks to no avail. There are no spare desks around the building, either. So I am already short a desk, and no one wants to sit in the wobbly desk because it's so freakin' annoying.

THEN I named the wobbly desk the "Disco Desk" and anyone who sits in can raise their hands in the air, make techno sounds, and wobble around. Now EVERYONE wants to sit in the Disco Desk, yet it hasn't become too much of a distraction b/c after a good 15 seconds of disco-ing, most of the perpetrators are played out.

I tried it myself and it was quite spectacular.

Faux bacon gear...where are we going with this and why are we in a handbasket? :-P

Bacon wallets!!!



Bacon band-aids!!!